Posted by Steve in weight loss tips | 20 Comments
Do Not Do It For Yourself
I was talking to some co-workers today and we got on the subject of weight loss. (big surprise) We were discussing what it would take for us to give up junk food and completely make a change in the way we eat and exercise.
Everyone chimed in with their own ideas and it was an interesting discussion. One person made a comment that I accidentally laughed at. Not that the comment was funny, but it was more that I could see myself saying that exact thing just a few years earlier.
The Comment
The comment was this “If I am going to take control of my weight I need to do it for myself and no one else” or something to that effect. Now on the surface it makes sense and it agrees with my whole accepting personal responsibility philosophy. But the point I disagree with is the “I need to do it for myself” part.
I don’t know about you, but I am terrible at doing things for myself. Whatever the task is I almost always put it off until later. Even when I do get around to it, I almost never put in 100% effort. This applies to why weight loss efforts as well.
Don’t Do It For Yourself
The success I have achieved so far was not because I wanted to lose weight for myself. It was because I wanted more for my kids, more for my wife and more for my friends/teammates.
More in the sense that I wanted my kids to be more active, have an active father that could keep up with them and show them how to live a healthy life. Most importantly I wanted them to have a father that was there for all the best moments in their lives. I can’t do that if I’m dead from a heart attack!
For my wife I wanted her to have a husband that was able to help around the house, including the yard work and home renovations. I wanted her to have a husband that she could be proud of and one that could give her a more fun and active life. That’s hard to do from the couch!
For my friends and teammates as well as my family I wanted them to have a physically active leader. Someone that would be actively involved and encourage them to improve themselves.
In my experience I have always put in more effort when it will benefit others and that is something that I am quite proud of.
Trackbacks/Pingbacks
- Blog Review: Weight Loss Weapons - [...] at a normal level or losing weight to get there, Steve's latest article tells you NOT to do it ...
- 4xlt - [...] Steve at Weight Loss Weapons recently touched on the motivating factor for fat loss and lifestyle change: The success ...
This is a great article. It’s hard to stay excited about fitness, but when you consider the disservice to your loved ones for not staying fit, it takes on a whole new meaning. Thanks!
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This is true, I tend to want to do more for others. I have never thought about it this way. I am always the one who is trying “please” everyone…so why not please them by taking care of myself…..
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That is a very true article. In the end, almost everyone ends up putting their self care in the back seat to do other things. While you do have focus on your health for yourself, perhaps something we should all also work on is putting ourselves as a priority in our lives.
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I think you are right on. Getting healthy does take accepting personal responsibility but also it takes realizing that if we are healthier we can do more for those around us –especially our families. My wife and I have our first baby on the way and I want to be around to play with my grandkids and great grandkids! I gotta take good care of myself!
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thats the only way it will happen. people need to realize they DESERVE to be happy and healthy. usually when people get into the habit of putting other people first is when they become over weight. its not selfishness- its loving yourself.
Kelly Turner
http://www.groundedfitness.com
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IT is true that,above anyone else, do it for yourself..Like the saying goes “Love yourself.” Do it because not to please anyone else, that will just give you pressure and will give you disappointment when you failed. But In anyway, it’s nice to have an inspiration in doing things, like your family and love ones.
John
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This is a pretty interesting topic…I don’t really know what finally made me lose the weight – if I did it because I wanted to fit in my old “skinny jeans” or if it was because I didn’t want my hubby to have a fat wife, lol.
I do think though there are a lot of things i wouldn’t do for myself (i would procrastinate or forget) or put extra effort in for other people…
I guess like most things it all depends on the person, but for many I think you’ve got a pretty good point!
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This is an interesting perspective. So often folks who are overweight say it is their business and nobody else’s. This isn’t true. We all have friends and family who suffer with us if we are unhealthy. Just think how it is for a kid if a parent doesn’t have the energy to play with them or can’t walk with them or have to battle to get into seats… It truly is time to take others into account. Perhaps that is what will work at last.
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Before you begin to diet or lead a healthier lifestyle, you have to feel secure and comfortable with yourself.
There are no miracles.
Mental security is what needs to be achieved first.
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It is true. If you really want to lose weight, do it for yourself, not for anyone else. Losing weight is such a great acheivement. Aside from looking good from the outside, you’ll also feel healthier.
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This is a different approach than I have heard before. It makes sense, though. If you were going to lose weight for yourself you would probably already have.
I lost 40 lbs in the last year, and I am having a little trouble keeping it off. It is interesting to note that I don’t keep it off for myself. My wife is also trying to lose weight, and I don’t want to sabotage her by regaining and potentially derailing her efforts. I’m worried she might give up, since it is so hard for her, if she sees me fail. This has been a pretty big motivator for me!
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That is so true. i 100% agree with you. Do it yourself and remain healthy. This will not only improve your life but will also increase the life span.
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It’s hard to stay excited about fitness, but when you consider the disservice to your loved ones for not staying fit, it takes on a whole new meaning. Thanks!
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It’s true that so many members are suffering of weight like software professionals and house wife.
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Interesting article which made me think about who I am doing this for. In the end I decided it really is for myself.
Its because I want to feel better. I want to be able to move more easily, dress better, feel more confident,just generally be more comfortable and less self consious. That isn’t for anyone else its just for me. Maybe I am just selfish!
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Good thoughts, Steve. You got me thinking about my won fat loss motivation over at my blog.
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There is obviously a lot of different opinions on this topic. I still think that it is important to want to get healthy for yourself and yes realizing that you “deserve it” is also a valuable lesson.
My thinking on this is can be summed up like this: It’s easier to change my thinking or the way I view a problem than it is to change my personality.
I am a “giver” that is who I am. I have a desire to help and get involved whenever I can. So I can use that part of my personality to motivate me to improve myself for the benefit of others.
I am tired of fighting who I am and trying to do things the way they are “suppose” to be done and not doing them the way I think they should be done.
That is not to say that I am always right though. I need to do what works for me, even if that means I fall flat on my face sometimes, which has happened
Thanks for the comments everyone. Keep them coming, I like read all the different views you have.
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I kind of agree and don’t at the same time.
Fortunately for me, my husband has known me both fat and thin and loves me just the same. So while it is easy to get in the habit of ordering pizza Friday nights with mozzarella sticks on the side, it is ME that has to decide I want to be healthy for my husband and kids.
He supports me 100%, so I am lucky in that respect!
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Very honest article, nicely written. I actully like forms of training (mostly strength training) and do it as a form of pleasure, for myself. But at the same time, some people want to look good because of how people precieve them. Maybe some do it for medical reasons. One thing is for sure, you need some form of motivation to keep fighting fit!
Andy
Fitness Uncovered
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Right now I was writing an article on “doing it for yourself” and your post made me think… You are still doing it for yourself because it is not like you are losing weight t for your loved ones to be happy, but because you feel happier while having more quality time with your loved ones because you lost the weight. Even if you get inspired by your loved ones, you are still doing it for yourself. And that is good isn’t it?
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